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29 September 2009 @ 03:09 am
Life within 140 characters.  

The Case Study of Kaiden Blake
Chapter 1: Life within 140 characters.

Sometimes my thoughts reproduce as quickly as rabbits, pushing and shoving at the outer brink of my skull. Okay, that first word is a lie. This is a common occurrence. My breathing rate likes to play a sadistic game -- 1800’s style -- while pretending my thoughts are valiant horses, cracking whips at them to keep them in sync. The horses (or “heese,” if you're a rebel), I assure you, would be of the finest breed. Promise.

I suppose this process could also be compared to the likes of Twitter. I could be whisked through a day that entails sky-diving into a bowl of Lucky Charms (which may be considered lactose-induced scuba diving), eating French fries while taste-testing various brands of ketchup (I am proud to say I have done this), and carrying on conversations with myself in the mirror while pretending to be in some grand, legitimate film called Reflections: A Successful Film, We Swear! that won’t be going straight to DVD release (I swear!). In-between these antics, I would scream “Life is great, this is better!” at the top of my lungs. I’d also look the other way and whistle a nonchalant tune as people look around in bewilderment.

My tweet (I will never be able to take that word seriously) would look somewhat like this:

“Lucky Charms. ‘Life is’ Ketchup = Yum. ‘great, this’ New film. ‘is better.’ Adding new ‘Under 140 Chars’ gold sticker on wall now.”

If people replied with tweets other than “Huh?” or name-dropping local hospitals, I may lose slight hope in my Followers. Okay, that is also a lie. I must say those things to encourage acceptable behavior, but secretly, I’d be back in front of the mirror working on a sequel film titled Reflections: Shiny Things are Really Great.

Now that I have somewhat successfully relinquished that train of thought (oh, look! railroad tracks), I may stop hoarding the gummy worms tonight. Key word: may. Remember, language is your friend.
apples_kiwi: cupcakeapples_kiwi on September 29th, 2009 09:47 pm (UTC)
You are completely insane.... I love it.

I would have to say that if I ever received that tweet (hahaha), I would immediately put it in my favorites then reply with something of equal insanity or about how you made my day. Your tweets usually brighten the room... or tweet thread?! ;]

Sometimes I compare your mentality to a psychotic murderer... I mean that in the most loving respectful way possible. <3

You should really make that film so I can watch it in the theaters (You promised!).

Gummy worms shall live on (FOREVER)!!

Kaiden Blakekaidenblake on September 29th, 2009 10:06 pm (UTC)
This was, by far, one of the best comments I have received. For many reasons.
__purple_sky__: Közi - Tres Bien__purple_sky__ on September 30th, 2009 08:19 pm (UTC)
You write beautifully. From the first paragraph I found myself wanting more. Feeling like I was following you through a forest of words.

PS I enjoy the visual of lactose induced scuba diving.
Kaiden Blake: psychobabblekaidenblake on October 1st, 2009 11:06 pm (UTC)
I have to admit, the marshmallows would make for pretty great rafts.
(Anonymous) on October 1st, 2009 10:46 pm (UTC)

what are you? a vampire? an elf? an angel?

you are not from this earth and i want to know what you are so please tell me... email me at justrachelx58@hotmail.com
Meggmeggastar on October 2nd, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC)
I love this! I love the use of imagery. Only thing is for some reason my mind was thinking something different at the same time and I pictured you eating cereal with a bottle of ketchup, on a T-rex. Second time through the T-rex went away though, probably died.

This is probably my favorite blog/journal/write you've done. :D
but i will not mourn for you: [fandom] sandman -- deliriumcofmanynames on October 3rd, 2009 02:53 am (UTC)
And the first two times I read that I thought you were saying you thought he was eating cereal with ketchup at a breakfast with a T-Rex. I mean, the T-Rex was also at the breakfast, the T-Rex wasn't a course.

Brains? Have reading comprehension? Where would all our fun go then?
Meggmeggastar on October 7th, 2009 12:05 am (UTC)
Haha, that's pretty much what I thought. I knew he didn't say anything bout a T-Rex but my mind thought it would be more interesting picturing a T-Rex in there I guess. I once had a teacher that literally had EVERYTHING with ketchup. I find ketchup gross but the thought of putting on cereal just seemed normal, after hearing my teacher's favorite meals. Second time I read the blog I was clueless of what even remotely triggered T-Rexes. Seriously WTF?! I guess being in that hot school all day did more than just tire me out. XD
but i will not mourn for you: [misc] pendantscofmanynames on October 3rd, 2009 02:51 am (UTC)
At least 'tweet' is better than 'twit'.

And I'd probably try to figure out <140-character recipes to send you, but that's because I recently spent a bit too long on fandom_wank, so...

Also, you have twitter? where?

*not going to say anything about the breathing and train of thought thing because having someone say they think like that too would be kind of weird, wouldn't it, so... oh wait she just did*
Diminiadiminia on October 3rd, 2009 01:41 pm (UTC)
i definitely laughed at this. [sorry i'm late, just catching up. :)]

you sound like me, the name of your legitimate film sounds just like something i would say. oh Kaiden i adore you.

and i agree with Taylor up there, i would totally @reply you [oh twitter lingo] something similar. you are so very good at brightening days.

love love,