The Case Study of Kaiden Blake
Chapter 1: Life within 140 characters.
Sometimes my thoughts reproduce as quickly as rabbits, pushing and shoving at the outer brink of my skull. Okay, that first word is a lie. This is a common occurrence. My breathing rate likes to play a sadistic game -- 1800’s style -- while pretending my thoughts are valiant horses, cracking whips at them to keep them in sync. The horses (or “heese,” if you're a rebel), I assure you, would be of the finest breed. Promise.
I suppose this process could also be compared to the likes of Twitter. I could be whisked through a day that entails sky-diving into a bowl of Lucky Charms (which may be considered lactose-induced scuba diving), eating French fries while taste-testing various brands of ketchup (I am proud to say I have done this), and carrying on conversations with myself in the mirror while pretending to be in some grand, legitimate film called Reflections: A Successful Film, We Swear! that won’t be going straight to DVD release (I swear!). In-between these antics, I would scream “Life is great, this is better!” at the top of my lungs. I’d also look the other way and whistle a nonchalant tune as people look around in bewilderment.
My tweet (I will never be able to take that word seriously) would look somewhat like this:
“Lucky Charms. ‘Life is’ Ketchup = Yum. ‘great, this’ New film. ‘is better.’ Adding new ‘Under 140 Chars’ gold sticker on wall now.”
If people replied with tweets other than “Huh?” or name-dropping local hospitals, I may lose slight hope in my Followers. Okay, that is also a lie. I must say those things to encourage acceptable behavior, but secretly, I’d be back in front of the mirror working on a sequel film titled Reflections: Shiny Things are Really Great.
Now that I have somewhat successfully relinquished that train of thought (oh, look! railroad tracks), I may stop hoarding the gummy worms tonight. Key word: may. Remember, language is your friend.